THE DICTIONARY

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE: Future Tense of Marriage

LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes

ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

FATHER: A banker provided by nature

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you